(Childhood SA TW)
I am nearly 21 years old, and a few months ago I had a flood of memories come to me. Id always acted and felt like a victim but always thought I was overreacting.
The memories were from events when I was 5 and 7 years old, and the details of multiple events when I was 16 (much alcohol and pill usage).
The person who enacted the first event (first memory from 5 and going through to 8, then again an attempt at 14) was my adopted mothers (great-aunt by blood) step father, who m***sted and r*ped the 4-5 step daughters still living at home, died last fall. While I rejoiced then, now I cant tell if its better or worse that he is dead. My family basically idolizes him now, saying that he was rough around the edges. Now, I cant tell anyone what happened without feeling like Im starting problems (what my adopted mom told me basically my whole life), and I couldnt handle being called liar.
@jnh1997
first of all, thank you very much for sharing a bit of your story with us, this was very brave of you :) suddenly being flooded with memories is a very frightening situation, I understand that you feel kinda confused and lost right now.... and the fear of not being believed when you talk about your abuse, that definitely is a horrible fear and I am very sorry that you are going through this and don't have your family behind you... is there anybody in your family or perhaps a friend you can talk to? I hope you stick around for some time and find some listening ears and some comfort around our community... feel free to pm me if you need anything 
