Skip to main content Skip to bottom nav

Considering telling counselor

User Profile: Rainbowmo
Rainbowmo July 1st, 2021

CW/
Still living with one of abusers, child grooming, pedophilia, infantilization


I'm in my early 20's and still living with my abusive mother, i was groomed by a pedophile on the internet as a teenager and to escape the abuse from my mother i lived with the groomer for 3 years
i managed to get away from that almost 2 years ago but the only choice after that was to move back in with my mother as i was left with nothing.

I don't get physically abused now I'm an adult but she continues to infantilize me, and gaslights me about both the abuse from her, and the grooming, not taking any responsibility for allowing it to happen. She also leaves me to homeschool and care for my
younger sibling while she works full time to pay rent, i can't get a job because of this and my savings for being able to leave are very low.

I've been seeing a counselor for the last 6 months to talk about the effects of being groomed but i haven't opened up to her about my mother
mostly because i still live with her and i don't know what the protocol is for mental health services if someone is talking to them while in a bad living situation,
my younger sibling doesn't get treated the same way i do and i don't want to risk anything happening to them, I'd just like to
have a way to talk about my abuse in a confidential setting.

Private Therapy would be ideal but i can't afford it and my mother is the one paying for the counselling (this makes me feel awful) so I'm torn about what i should do.

I don't have any friends because both my parents and the groomer wouldn't let me for most of my life in case i outed them, so i have no one to talk to.
I worry about how to make friends after being so used to hiding everything about myself.

I start face to face sessions with my counsellor soon, so now would be a good chance to open up more if i choose to, but they aren't a trauma or abuse specialist and like i mentioned before i don't know what the consequences of telling them could be.

Any Advice on this would be great

1
User Profile: amiableBlackberry92
amiableBlackberry92 July 2nd, 2021

@Rainbowmo. I'm so sorry for your horrible experiences. I understand I have similar background just a different timeline. Anyway from my experience because of being over 18 Hippa keeps your conversation private where I live. But I'm not sure where you are located. Ask the counsellor what the rules are before you start your session. Tell the counsellor how you feel, i was terrified to tell about my experiences for a really long time. It took awhile for me to trust my therapist. I asked alot of questions. I did eventually tell them what happened. My therapist helped me , she knew how to guide me out of my situation so I could take action and improve my life. It's far from perfect but it's better and I have her to thank. I'm still trying to heal, it's a slow process. I hope this post helps you in some way. I'm so sorry about the abuse and the groomer. You survived and got away from the groomer be proud of that, I know how difficult that is to do... Reaching out on 7 cups is a good step forward. Best 💜 ABB