False Hope
Everyone says it will get better. You will heal, you will be happy some day, things will be okay. But that is false hope. Hope isn't even a real thing. It is just a word to make us feel less scared for the future.
My story, to keep it as summed up as possible,
I lived with my mom and my dad (who I found out less than a year ago isn't even my bio dad). My dad abused me in every way possible, both of my adults neglected me. I told a total of five times before I finally got out. Once at 7, 8, 11, 13, and finally almost a year ago at 15. After being forced to tell every detail of every thing that was done to me, being forced into a exam, and forced to talk about it some more, I was informed my case wouldn't be going to trial because it would be considered "to traumatizing" for people to hear about. Hope was what others told me to hold onto. And then I was promised I would be placed into a safe home. That nobody would hurt me anymore. More hope, false hope. Now I live with my aunt, her boyfriend, and my aunts kids. I'm being raped and sold by my aunts boyfriend daily. I am supposed to have hope for a better and brighter future. It is promised to me daily. But it is all false hope. People trying to take away the fear of the future. But it won't ever get better. Hope is a lie. I can't handle this lie anymore either. Hope is telling myself as I am being hurt that maybe it will stop and everything will be okay. It never happens. Hope is telling myself bad things can't always happen. But they do. Hope is so false. And I'm done. I can't handle the lie anymore.
So sorry to hear your situation 😔
i'm sorry. i'm sorry that you had gone through the abuse, then the questioning, then the forced examination? (they don't have the right to do anything like that), then being put in another house with some other abusers. you don't deserve this. nobody deserves this.
i... had so many questions when i read what you wrote, like: why are you in your aunt's house, does anyone know that you are being abused there too, and how can you get out of there? i'm sorry if you get questions like these so many times, you don't have to answer any of them. i just want you to be safe, above all. restoring your hope about the future, healing, feeling better, they all come after that. you deserve to be in a safe environment where you are no longer abused. where you are taken care of.
i was in a similar situation when a was a child and a teenager. i know that it is so difficult, especially when you're younger and more vulnerable, to be able to get out of that. it is not your responsibility, it is the responsibility of the adults around you. but when the adults don't do what they are responsible for, sometimes we have to do that for ourselves. i don't know much about your situation, i don't know your country or anything, but, can you go to any adult that can help you get out of that house? if there's none, can you go to the police if it is safe enough for you, or to any other official, is it possible for you? if it is not, how can we make it possible? how can you get out of there?
i am here. i care about you. i care about your safety. i want to be able to keep you company from here. please don't give up on yourself. please.
at my aunts bc she was the only family i had and it was her or a foster home. she knows some cops know but they are in on it. i'm not gonna tell anyone
@kaselyn do you have any chance to go to a foster home? and why won't you tell anyone?
i just don't want to
@kaselyn there is nothing anyone can do, i guess, if you don't want to leave there. but you don't deserve to live like this. you deserve safety.
i'm not telling because what's the point because nobody will help i didnt post this to be told to tell
@kaselyn i'm sorry that you feel that way. asking for help is not an easy thing, especially if you were harmed more when you asked for help in the past. but, that doesn't mean that it has to be like that in the future too. i get that you don't want me to try and think about ways that you can get out of there, because you feel like that's not gonna happen. so okay, i won't do it then. but you share your story here, you share your feelings. so what do you need? what do you want?
@menice just someone to listen
I know it’s not what you want to hear, but i hope you can find a trusted adult to tell. Maybe a teacher? A cafeteria worker, a friends mom, a neighbor. You don’t deserve to live this way and though things seem bleak and constantly disappointing, not everything g and everyone is like that. It may take some fight but the sooner you get out the sooner you can start to heal from all this trauma ❤️
@kaselyn ...I understand your fear. I'm so sorry. Fear can be crippling. Took me 5 decades to tell. Fear held me by the neck my whole life. You will know when your ready. You will see a time and tell. I hope it's sooner for you but I understand. Praying for you🙏💜ABB