Feeling depressed
Hi I’m new I’m a 23 year old girl I have two children I’ve been abused in the past physically, sexually and emotionally by almost every man in my life, but I was attacked recently by my suppose “boyfriend” he inserted himself in my life way too quickly… I just wanted to be friends due to the prior trauma I was dealing with I didn’t want a relationship with a guy nor girl I wanted to get better for myself and kids he didn’t take that very lightly he was heavy into drug use, he was very emotionally abusive, guilt tripping me into the relationship, I felt uncomfortable from the get go I didn’t want to continue this
TRIGGER WARNING THE ATTACK
when my kids were away he broke into my house, drugged me, and then proceeded to have this way with me when I confronted him about this he turned it on me and I said I imagined it and if I told anyone he would kill me he had weapons, and wasn’t afraid of killing me stating that no one would miss me
im having trouble managing being a parent while going through.. im so thankful my neighbors called the police after he fired a gun in my home almost killing me I now have a restraining order but I still feel controlled by him in some way.. I’ve been very depressed not showering, not taking care of myself it feels like my life is slipping out of control i’m sorry for the long message but I wanted to give some background to my story thank you if anyone is reading this or listening I really appreciate it I don’t have many people talk to so thanks
I offer no solutions. You've been though alot of trauma and what you're feeling and the depression you're experiencing is a normal response. You're doing your best to survive a messed up situation while staying strong for your kids. It can be hard to ask for help or know what help you need during a traumatic event. Is there someone close who you trust that can help you?
I only hope you can continue to share your thoughts and feelings on this forum and know that you aren't alone.