First Time Meeting
So I kind of feel embarrassed to come out and say this and I know I shouldn’t but I still do. I remember the first time I met my cousin. I was about 9 and he was 12. I’d never heard about him before and my Dad took me over to his house (my uncles house). He was pretty known for being a troublemaker and energetic I guess. My Dad left me there for the whole day. My uncle and my aunt spent their time in their room while I was left hanging out with my cousin. First we were watching some tv and then all of a sudden he asks me “do you want to see how I kiss?”. Here’s where it gets tricky because I was young, curious, never kissed a boy, all that. So I said yes. My question is, is that consent? I’m not sure. But he kissed me and he ended up kissing me a lot. Sooner or later I told him that I thought we should stop because I had a feeling it was wrong but he would encourage me to do it. He would rub my legs and try to stop me. One other time he tried to touch my private area but I stopped him. Could you tell me what you think of this? It bothers me sometimes
This is hard. You were both kids. But I guess if he asked and you agreed then you probably gave consent. I feel like it would be different if he was a teen or adult. But being 12 he most likely knew it wasn't appropriate. I wouldn't be hard on yourself. You were just a kid.
@VioletMoon629
If you said yes, that is considered consent. But if you started to say no and back away that is not consent, that is denying consent. I'm so sorry this happened and is affecting you so much. I hope you feel better soon 
The first time, you said yes and that means you had given consent. Later on, you said that you think that you should stop. That clearly meant that you were uncomfortable with the situation and whatever happened from that point on, is without your consent. I'm sorry that it happened to you. Stay strong ❤️
First and foremost I would just like to say I’m sorry this happened to you, I hope in time this stops bothering you altogether. I have had similar situations and what I can say for myself at least is A these situations tend to come back and haunt memories when we get older so there’s always that new perspective put in play now that you are older, which can make thinking about it now Mind Numbing but try not to be so hard on yourself because again you were still just a kid... I would like to add I don’t think kids or children or even most young adults really can give “consent” even if they are saying yes, with the way sexuality is portrayed in our daily lives from tv music, around the world in my opinion the openness and the discussions that could happen but don’t could prevent curiosity from turning into something else. You were introduced to something that you were not familiar with and even asked to stop, I don’t think this was consent but I don’t think it was purposely malicious if this makes sense, you definitely have all rights to feel uncomfortable and bothered, I hope these words receive you well, peace be with you 💐
I agree with Penny. I don’t think children can give consent. We constantly in my country hear about the difference of brain development between a child and adult (when debating whether a minor should be charged with adult crimes, for example). A child’s brain, mind, frontal lobe - what have you - is not fully developed. Children can mimic adults and what they are taught (like abuse) but they cannot give consent.
