Giving this a try (CSA survivor, DID, need support from those w similar experiences)

Hi all. I haven't tried this before. I think I just need really intensive support. I've been reaching out to friends, other online forums, and leaning on my therapist. So I'm trying to make sure I have the ability to reach out to people at any hour. I have been struggling a lot more with sleep lately due to flashbacks and dissociation.

Recently came to accept that I have experienced DID for most of my life. I can remember one of my earlier fragmentation experiences. I was 4 or 5. We couldn't look backwards at previous memory one day. At one point I could remember when I was 3. Then it stopped. I've reconnected to this 3yo alter briefly recently. That's what the flashbacks were about. I remember a lot and so little at the same time. Sometimes the Little is there, sometimes not. Maybe we're asleep or just very scared, I don't know. Trying to make the present as comfortable as possible for them.

Lately we are remembering and exploring the possibility of CSA. We've known since we were 14 that we were groomed by our father (who will be referred to as the main abuser from now on). Nobody believed us. In the present day I am thinking about all that I experienced. Some alters have been coming back up. We believe each other now. It's still hard but we're getting better at coaxing the younger parts out. Talking to them. Remembering

For those of you who have survived parental incest, do you think you could share what ways you were groomed, if you remember? I am still only completely certain of 1, maybe 2 instances of very obvious grooming. However due to the nature of such abuse, a lot of the bad stuff that was experienced seemed normal to us when it happened, so it wasn't filed away as something notable. I have noticed that we can start to remember things when we read something that we relate to. So that is why I'm asking.