I didn't know what to do

I was only 9 when it happened, I still don't talk about it much. But what happend was he said if I didn't do this he would kill me and pointed to the pocket knife on the table. And I knew what was happening because my parents had always told me what to do in a situation like this. I wanted to run out the door, I wanted to scream for help, but I couldn't. I opened my mouth and nothing came out. I tried to get up and I was pulled back down. Nothing worked. A few weeks later my mom gets a call from the police station asking if he did anything to me, she said no because she thought nothing happened because I didn't tell her because I was embarrassed that it happened. I finally told my dad after I was sent to inpatient because they said I had to tell a parent. My mom isn't a good person, I can't trust her, and I will never tell her about it. It was her fault in the first place. She sent me to get babysat by a man from her church (I don't go because I lost all reason to live basically after that) mind you he was in his 50s. He is in trial right now because he did the same thing to 2 of his nieces. He isn't in jail yet and they won't let me testify because my mom said it didn't happen when they asked years ago. So now I live with the constant fear of him coming and killing me.