I feel so ashamed

I just want to say first that this is the hardest thing for me to talk abt, mostly because I havent told anyone I guess.

okay, so in March 2019 me and one of my oldest (ive known him since I was born) friends got together. (Side note we thanks guys and in Canada its legal to have sexwe went to the movies and stop then he came over to my house. We were playing with slime and doing basic kid stuff but somehow we got onto the topic of puberty and stuff. We were like asking each other questions abt the opposite sex and stuff. And then...stuff happened. I dont know how, and I only have flashes of it. But I know he pushed me on my bed and stuff. We didnt actually have sex and I was on my period I remember. But he made me touch his thing and he touched my underwear and like took off my hoodie so I was in a bra for a bit. I never said no so its my fault right? But I also kind of i dont know, encouraged him. And when I tried to talk to him about it he wouldnt and its been eating me away. I remember before then I had tried to tell him I have depression and was suicidal but he said I didnt and I had no idea what I was talking about even though I was cutting and had been diagnosed and on antidepressants for a couple of months then. I feel bad but not sometimes. because I still see him at school and hes really gross and makes sexual and r*pe jokes.i dont know what to make of this. I feel so bad and guilty and dirty. Im way too young to have sex-Im only 13. Thanks