I need advice

Hello I'm Eros and I'm currently 17.

I believe that I may be a victim of CSA but I only remember bits and pieces of my childhood, plus I live with my mom and she's emotionally abusive and controlling, I don't know where to even start because I can't get therapy as none of my parents are willing to let me go and uhm my best friend said I should ask here to see if I should contact someone for further assistance in unlocking repressed memories.

I'm sorry if this is messy I'm just upset right now and don't know where to begin.