Is Forgiving wrong?
I was sexually abused by my father when I was younger....I'm 21 now and even though I forgave him sometimes I wonder if I was wrong for that. I haven't been able to look at pictures of him since the last I talked to him...when I was 15. I've been trying not to think of him but he gets out of Prison soon and I'm scared that I won't know what to do. I accidentally saw a picture of him tonight and I wanted to cry I couldn't help but be scared. I feel wrong for feeling this but all I wanted was to hug my Dad I wanted to be able to go back to being comfortable around him. I just wanted to be with my dad as I once was before everything. I know it won't be the same if I ever build up the courage to speak to him again but I can't help but feel like a helpless little girl waking up from a nightmare crying out for her dad to comfort her and tell her "it's just a bad dream everything will be okay".
I’m so sorry you have to deal with this, allow me to try and give you some insight, for starters I could only imagine what that must feel like, again I’m so sorry you feel this way, I’m 17 my father abandoned me when I was only about 9 I have faint memories although good ones it still weighs heavy on my heart I miss him so much sometimes and it’s been Hard growing up without him in my heart I’ve forgiven him but that doesn’t change all the pain that it brought me I don’t know your whole story but your really strong for being able to talk about this, I’m trying to go about this in the best way possible, to me it sounds like you just need time to sort this out him leaving prison soon sounds like it’s affecting the way you think you need to ask yourself if mending your relationship is reallt something that would be beneficial to your health it also depends on him he was and is the one in the wrong therefore he needs to make it up not you, if prison gas changed him enough to want to change then the decision Is up to you, if he’s still the same person he was years ago then maybe it’s just best to forgive and move on, I know that’s hard him being your father and all but you need to focus on yourself and your own health I’m sorry I’m not too experienced with this kinds of thing but I couldn’t just do nothing after reading this I hope it gets better and I pray you make a recovery from all this 🤞🏽❤️
You are not wrong for the feelings you are having about needing a father to love and a father who loves you without hurting you. Sexual abuse is so difficult because the person who is meant to protect does harm. If you can, see a therapist before making any decisions about seeing him. Also, the therapist needs to specialize in sexual abuse. Seeing him, whether it is a good experience or not will bring up a lot of feelings and likely be very confusing, having a therapist help you through that process should you decide to see him will also be very important. It’s most important to take care of your emotional health and feel you can protect yourself from any further harm.
