I said yes after he tried to convince me for an hour.
TW: Rape
Hi guys. I'm in a relationship with my boyfriend since a week. I realized that he's a good friend of a guy who raped me.
I have flashbacks to that time I was raped, around 2 years ago. We kind of were friends with benefits and made out a lot. We often were more intimate but only after he tried to convince me every time. We never had sex and I never wanted to. I wanted a relationship in which i felt loved.
Then one day we were watching a movie and cuddled. I didn't wanted more besides cuddling and kissing. Then he grabbed a condom and asked me to have sex. I said no but he asked again. And again. For about an hour. He made me feel so uncomfortable and I wanted it to stop, so I said yes. Then he did it and only wanted to cum. Then he sent me home.
I felt so dirty and wrong and I regret it every day and I'm not sure if he raped me.
I'm so scared when I see him with my boyfriend. I think I have to tell him what happened. But I'm pretty sure he won't believe me that it was rape. I don't know what I should say... I don't want to lose my boyfriend.
@alinano thank you for sharing this. It sounds like you are having a difficult time handling this past experience and it is affecting your present life. Please know that what this boy did was wrong, you said no and told him multiple times that you do not want to do this, but he kept pushing and pushing. Know that you are not alone, you can always connect to a listener to talk about this, you can also search for a long term support listener or check out therapy here on 7 Cups.
