Is this Verbal Sexual Abuse/Assault/Harassment? (Is that even a thing...)
So the earliest I can remember that was the slightest bit of anything sexual said towards me was when I was 11 or 12. At the time my younger cousin was staying overnight and we played truth or dare like little kids and I don't remember how but he commented on how I was so flat-chested (it's been years and he still says that) and shortly after he randomly licked my face which was really gross, but once he realized how disgusted I was by that he offered that I could sit on his face as payback. Which I found out later on what that truly means, but I just always dismissed it.
It wasn't until I was 15 that I found out that my cousin once had feelings for me... like romantic feelings when he was about 12 (I would be 13 or 14). He told me this himself. Ever since he told me this he had been asking me really personal/inappropriate questions. Like if I would bang any of my friends. If I masturbated or not. If I ever watched porn and if I did, what kind. Things like that.
It made me feel really awkward and I always tried to change the subject, but he just kept asking and pushing the questions. If I did give in to a question, it'd only lead into even worse questions and I'd regret even answering. He even went as far as to compliment me on my figure aka saying "you have a great ass." There was also a point where he asked me about my friends. What they looked like and if they'd be into him. He actually met one of my friends and he seemed to be really obsessed with her after they only met once. She's thankfully almost 18 and it sounded like he won't do anything once she reaches it. As soon as he starts to ask about her or any friend, I'd feel really protective of them and that the less he knows, the better.
He also had been very persistent about me spending the night at his house and I'd always given him a generic "I'm busy, but I'll ask" and then never ask. The worst he's ever done (physically) was try to pick me up and "accidentally" grab my butt and then feel proud of himself.
I'm not sure if this even belongs here. It's been bothering me for a really long time and I'm just confused as to why... or even WHAT this is...
@WandererOfReality hey there! While I personally don't think these things could be considered abuse or assault, when he persistently pushes you to talk about things when you don't want to, or constantly says crude things about you, that could probably be considered harassment. Honestly he just sounds very annoying and doesn't know how to take a hint!
Have you tried talking to him about how uncomfortable he makes you feel, or how what he's doing isn't appropriate? It's possible he just thinks he's being funny, or doesn't realize how not okay it is. You're allowed to just straight up say no when he wants to hang out, maybe he will understand in time that how he acts makes people not want to be around him.
Regardless, it sounds like something difficult to have to be exposed to :( situations that make you uncomfortable, especially from someone you might have a hard time getting around seeing (like family), are always tough. But I think the important thing is looking forward, not back on what happened but what you can do about it going forward. You can say no, you can call him out, you can ignore him, you can talk to him about it, you can talk to others about his behaviour...there's a lot of options out there :) You're more important than his words or actions. Best wishes for you! (And best wishes that he will realize what he's doing, apologize, and change his ways!)
I am so sorry you have to deal with this. This is sexual harassment. Trust me. I know.