Just a vent because it's eating me up..
I don't know how the hell I'm supposed to not want this mother fker put UNDER the jail for the shit he has done to me. I don't know how I'm not supposed to go to his CHURCH, where he is a decon with high respect... and my own biological father... and EXPOSE him. I'm so god damn angry at this piece of shit. I want to ask him why he didn't just kill me instead of almost letting me drown, AT DISNEY, when he started sexually assaulting me, at the age of 3. I want to cuss out the therapist I saw at 13 and tell him he should have advocated for me when I expressed [in graphic detail] the "nightmares" that "felt real". ALL THE SIGNS WERE THERE.. YOU FUCKING FAILED. I am so angry... I hate this so much.
I think I'm gonna ask him why he was such a pussy, that he sexually and physically assaulted his own daughter.. & wanted to let her drown because she was exhibiting sexual behaviors at 3.
I'm so sorry, You have every right to feel the way you do. I wanted you to know someone out here hears you. I'm sorry so many ppl failed you. I can feel your anger and pain. ABB
Thank you ♡ sometimes it feels too overwhelming to not say anything at all.. I just wish it were easier. I appreciate you commenting ♡
Your welcome, Keep writing it helps to get it out. I understand abuse I've had alot myself. I had to get help so I wouldn't hurt myself. Journaling, 7cups, therapy and medication has helped me . I still have a ton of pain but I've improved with the above list. Reaching out for help from a trusted person is the best thing I did. This has been an unbelievable challenge but if I can do it you can too. 💜
I've have had the experience of near death at the beach. It is infuriating seeing everyone around you laughing and not giving a care in the world after what just happened to you. But you shouldn't assume that they want you to drown. People really don't care much outside of themselves unless it's putting them in danger, in which case they remove themselves from the situation. As for anyone close to you who should help, people respond to these events differently. When my sister was pushed into a pool (she can't swim) my instinct was to jump in fully clothed and with my shoes still on to help her out. But a lot of people freeze up, panic or are horrified. Sorry I couldn't be of much help. Hope your situation gets better. Remember you aren't alone.
I understand what you're saying, I only wish it were an assumption. To give a little back story... I was sent down a waterside since my mom wasn't able to hold me as she went down. She told my dad he needed to grab me when I hit the pool at the bottom, he confirmed and watched me slide. I hit the water, and he turned away from me to talk to strangers. I bobbed up and down crying for him, he side glared me as he continued talking. Thank you for your kind words, it will get better♡
