Learning that I am safe

I want to tell you another story, a very hard story. A story that broke my heart. When I was in 10th grade, it came out that I had been hurt by my father, molested. I was in counseling for depression at the time, and my counselor found out. He immediately confronted my dad about it, and my dad decided to rob a bank because of what the counselor told him. On the way home he was arrested, and he went to prison for six years. He told my mom and sister that the only reason he did that was because he was in shock about the story I told. no one in my family believed me, and they said it was my fault that my dad was sent to prison. My sister was so angry, she would beat me. she would push me on the floor and kick me and slap me and pull my hair and throw big things at me. She also broke my favorite things like my music box and porcilyn dolls, anything to hurt me. she went so far as to threaten to kill me a few times. but, that was not the worst part, the worst part was that my mother did not stop her. She would not defend me, or even believe me at times. my sister would break into my bedroom when I was there, and she also knew how to pick the lock on the bathroom door. I was not safe. So, as I am beginning to feel, let my emotions out, and speak about my past, one huge struggle for me is feeling safe. I fear and panic, and at times have nightmares because I remember what happened. But, logically, I know I am safe. I have a husband that adores me, I get hugs and kisses every day, I get held every night until I fall asleep, and I absolutely trust him. And to him, our daughter is priceless. she is his little princess, who could one day be a brain surgeon if she wanted, or an artist or teacher or homemaker. or anything else in the whole world. So now, I have the battle of remembering everyday that I am safe, loved, and believed. One way I am doing this is to share my heart with you, whoever is reading this. Thank you for listening! You are priceless.