My story....
My name is Dianne. I'm not really sure how to start off so I'll just dive right into it I suppose. I was sexually abused by my step father. One day when I was five I woke up to find him on top of me and touching me. He told me that if I told anyone he'd make my mom go back to Mexico. At the time she wasn't exactly legal and I'd heard so many stories of famillesgetting torn apart after deportation so I just...kept my silence. It was all touches and making me touch him until I was about 12 years old when he finally forced himself on me. He used sex as a means of punishment very often with myself (though he never laid a hand on my siblings) That continued on until I was 19 before I left for school...Now, I'm actually quite terrified when men show any romantic interest in me. I know I should seek professional help, but the fact of the matter is that I can't afford it.
So...yep thats me.
Hello, I am Nicole, when I was 4 year old I already was a victum of bullying, I went my whole life thinking it wass something normal, as I got older thr bullies got worse, getting in fights would be an every week thing and hearing "go kill yourself" would be an every day thing. When I was 11 I fell in to depression and I tried to kill my self 5 times. I believe I survived because the feature has something for me. Durning my depression I would never go outside and my room would me totally dark. Stil, every morning I would go singing and dancing to school (yes, I know, sounds weird), when I got out of my depression things got a bit betther but after a few months it stared alk over again. I knew that after a few months I was goeing to move to spain and the bullies on school got to hard to handel so I quited school, while packibg my bags for spain I was working with a knife, after thinking alot I made my firts cut (today I have been clean 3weeks), in spain all the boys did like me and life got betther but many boys did use me and still I see myself as fat and ugly, every day is a fight against panick attacks, anxiety, not cutting, PTSS and not falling back in to depression, but I met a boy, and he helps me, with anything and evrything, I am so happy to have him and it does get betther. I promis, it realy does get bether!!!
Hey there Dianne, i can sort of relate to urpost, though i wasn't abused my my stepfather, i was abused by my best friends brother as a child and later on i was raped by a stranger. I think for u to be able to move on u really need to report this man to the police, not only for ur own sanity, but for the protection of other children who he may come in contact with. After that i think u should get some councelling. Just remember that not all men are like this sicko, and u were just really unfortunate. I have since met and married the most wonderful man and he treats me like a princess, im so glad that my past experiences didn't taint my view of all men. xxx I really hope u get the help u need, all the best x
