My story (possibly triggering)
I think I mentioned in trauma chat this week that I would never share my story and what happened, but I know that keeping it in is hurting me mentally and making it harder for me to get better.
I don't remember much before 11 year old, so I am not sure if this happened even longer or earlier than I can remember but I was assaulted sexually by my cousin for many years at least starting from 11 and from 15-16, I don't remember much in between either. I dealt with other forms of abuse by family members and parents throughout most of my teen years as well. Then Last summer I was assaulted by a "friend" as I started dabbling into drugs and wasn't clearminded, then just a few months ago I realised I blocked out years of assault from another family member, it started coming back in flashbacks which was so hard to deal with, soon to realise it was still happening, the dissocation was so bad that I couldn't remember it all happening but eventually my memories started coming back sooner and it all made sense. But now things have stopped or at least to my knowledge, it's hard to trust people when sometimes you miss hours, days or even a week of time. I really feel ready to share this and to finally not keep this in.
Free, that has taken so much courage to share your story. Am really proud of you for finding the strength to talk about this! I am so sorry this has happened to you though. You have had to deal with so much, and you are still standing strong. I can see why you turned to drugs as a way to escape what was going on.
Flashbacks are very difficult to deal with, you are very lucky in some ways that your brain has used dissociation as a way to protect you from these things that have gone on in your past. I can only imagine how difficult this has been for you, and the troubles you have had to face that go along with this.
Again I am so glad you have had such courage to share this, though can understand how difficult it is to trust people. There are kind people in this world though who are here to support you at this difficult time though Free, and I hope you remember that.
Do hope you take care and I wish you the best in working this out and on your road to recovery. Welcome to chat to me anytime <3 -hugs-