Not for the weak Hearted may be (TW) for some!
My Story or the Part that brought me here started 2 weeks shy of my 18thB-day. I answered an ad for a babysitting job that was a set up by a serial rapist. I spent 12 hrs total in 3 surgeries and Hospitalized nearly a month counting rehab. I Have never trusted another man or had a relationship in 10 yrs. Severe PTSD stems from this Attack and has touched every aspect of my life as i am Still dealing with physical things due to it! I had tumors come from scar tissue that got diagnosed cancerous at age 24 and did Chemo and won! 3 yrs REMISSION NOW! I have most recent had eye surgery to repair an artificial lensethat i had put in after the attack..So see 10 yrs later and still no peace! Within the last month and a half I picked up purging to deal with PTSD symptoms and got hooked! Now it is happening more and more but i see the problem and am trying to find help.... Things have Just been hard and all stem back to One Day when One Man took my life from me and left this SCARED SHELL!
I cannot even fathom what you have been through, though I would like to offer my opinion, Do not let one unpleasant event take the 'power' from within yourself. The mere fact that you are still in this world is a clear indicator that life will bring you something better. Your continued perseverance has shown your individual inner strength, and no matter how big or small, you are what your thoughts are. Attempt not to say you have all these 'conditions' rather observe all the parts in you that healed, there are some, they just require looking more inside you, your soul is a beautiful thing and no matter what happens outdoors, the soul keeps its light, it just distances itself from the hurt/pain/suffering as a way of a defense mechanism.
And relationships, do not even put them in the picture, it does not matter about them as such, they are overrated expecially when so many are in the wrong ones. The focus is on you, loving yourself with devotion unconditionally. Life has given you none so that you are not exposed or potentially vulnerable to 'dangerous men' again. It is a blessing in disguise.
Dear SilentScream - sending you hugs and strength!
Hi,
I'm so sorry that this happened to you. I can't even imagine what it must have been like. But the fact that you have been through so much trauma, and you're still here, still fighting for your life, means you must be very strong. Perhaps you are much stronger than you realize.
I am a big believer in books, and in case you haven't already read them, two wonderful books on PTSD are:
Healing from Trauma, by Jasmin Lee Cori
I Can't Get Over It: A Handbook for Trauma Survivors, by Aphrodite T. Matsakis
Just an idea. Please take good care of yourself.
you poor thing. I admire your strength. hope all is well x
Absolutely heart breaking. If there is one thing that can heal the hole in your soul that was left by that severely deranged individual, is compassion and kindness toward yourself and others. The fact that you are the victim of such a horrendous act puts you into a unique position amongst a community such as this. I am also in recovery of trauma tho it does not amount to what you have been through. If you can do this for yourself and others, talk with people in this community and open yourself to share your pain you will see your pain and fear transmitted into strength and compassion for others who have gone through what you have and possibly worse. You have the opportunity here to heal and help others which I am convinced is the most fulfilling thing life has to offer. Your story alone can save lives in the future which truly is amazing. Your strength is without question, peace will come by talking with others. I hope one day you can become a listener to help others.