PTSD from Alien Abduction

For years now I have been battling with ptsd from alien abductions. I had been taken repeatedly since I was a young girl. Ive been experimented on, tortured psychologically and physically, surgeries done on me and used as a breeding machine. I have been repeatedly raped while sleeping and made pregnant then suddenly go into labor and then they would abduct me and take the babies. This has gone on since I was a child.

People instantly discredit you and call you mentally ill if you talk about an alien abudction. Ive had to mostly keep this to myself but I did write about all my experiences.

The alien who is involved in this is cold and cruel. He is very evil. He mentioned everything they done to me. He said they were going to keep gangstalking me and not stop. I was threatened if I ever spoke about the abductions they would kill me with cancer.

This alien is a control freak. The alien said he was in love with me and wanted me to come live on the ship with him when the world ends in September. He said he was not allowing me to have friends or get a job because he is possesive of me. He said he was a taurus.

This alien looks like that one deaf grandma in the wheelchair that is brown, wrinkly and just a head and spine from that episode of spongebob where they go door to door selling chocolate. His eyes and skin look like hers. They are pure black and pruny brown skin, very ugly. They looked exactly alike. The alien wanted me turned towards tv screens while he spoke to me so I wouldnt really see him. This alien is hideous and has an obsession with me.

There is no way to escape what is being done because it's being done by non human entities and I don't know what to do. I have had life/death experiences and every single time im taken to this aliens lair and I never want to go back there. Its been about 5 years since my last abduction. I fear everyday ill have to deal with and face this ugly alien and his torture and be put thru a painful labor with a baby I never even knew I was pregnant with for it to just be snatched from me. Or deal with more torture by these sickos. I dont know what to do. Im sick of having ptsd and no justice. Im sick of this ugly alien interfering in my human affairs so I cant date. He's hacked my phone, etc so I cannot talk to anyone. I dont know what makes him think I would want to be with an ugly alien like him and not a human like myself. He also had a capsule full of blood that your body fits in and said thats where he takes a bath. He takes blood baths and is a demon.