Rape Victim
So ummm.... I'm new here....and..ummm.... I'm a rape victim and it's killing me. Lost my virginity to rape💔 It's hard to accept it, everyday I have flash backs and the only way to cooperate with it....is finding a distraction but then that doesn't help for too long. I wanna move on from it, I wanna move on from my past. Growing up I didn't have a supportive family (still don't got it). I don't even know what it feels like to be loved, growing up I just wanted love and attention from my mom and dad...but he didn't stay he lefted and put another female over me(he's still doing it right now and trying to buy me with money)and my mom...she don't got time for no body but her man. She's not the best or a great mother. Sometimes I feel like a mistake she once said I ruined her life(because she had me at 23). Sadly....I don't know what fun feels like either. I don't get along with humans... I'm a nobody which makes it even harder to even tell someone about me getting raped.... It's just too much you know😔I just want the pain and flash backs to stop, I just want to be happy like normal people. My inner child is so sad and depressed. My depression started at 8 and now I'm 16 and it's gotten worst over the years but May 2021 was the worst💔the year I got raped and I know it's almost a year sinced it happen....but..... it's hard.
@bhaddie310
It absolutely makes sense for this to be still affecting you, even though it is so hard. I know how much you wish it would stop and leave you alone, your pain shows through your writing. The trauma response can be unpredictable and overstay its welcome for sure...
I am glad you are reaching out. You are not alone here, and I hope we can support you ❤️❤️
Please don't do anything wrong I understand you please don't do anything worng is therbis any way we can get in contact I am scared
I'm sorry for what you are going through, I had two rape experiences and it felt like my soul was ripped from me. It will be hard to get through this. I won't lie about that. Please get professional help, this shouldn't be dealt with alone. I wish you the best. You can talk to me anytime btw.
I also know what it's like to have selfish parents. I wish your situation were better. Just please find someone you can trust to talk to.
It does get better with time. I never thought I was going to be okay ever again but over time I've found a moderate sense of peace and acceptance about my incidents. I talked about it in therapy and to my mentors which was indispensable to me in getting better.
