Ruining a vision
I havnt talked with many on this but its been rattling in my head for a while.
When I was 16 my father took it upon himself to take advantage of me and over a course of months continued to try again and again. I went through a lot of manipulation from him that still effects me today. However during that time I got to meet my brother for the first time. My brother was in his late 20s at the time.
Now im 20 and my brother dosnt know what happened. Im debating when a good time would be to break the bad news to him about his dad. Mind he didnt get to meet our dad till I met my brother. Im still under my dads care so I don't wanna do it till im at least out from under him. Im terrified of how my brother is gonna react to it. I debate in general if i should tell him at all and avoid turning his long lost dad into a villain. I dont know what you to.
Hello @Carolina479. I am sorry your dad did this to you. No person should ever have to go through that. The one upside is that it sounds like you are glad you met your brother. I'll be honest, there is probably never going to be a good time to break the news to him. Either way he is going to hurt because it will either change his view about his dad or he will hurt knowing you were hurting and in some ways still are. It is a trauma you are not going to forget any time soon, but that is okay because you are a strong person and will get through it!
I can understand waiting until you are out from his care so he can't hurt you anymore. Have you talked to anyone about this or have you ever considered seeing a therapist? Therapists are often a great resource on how to cope with the trauma but also how to live without the trauma controlling your life.
No i Havnt spoken to a therapist yet. I did recently open up wo my housemate about my intentions to see a therapist once my car has been fixed and delivered to me (by my father). I have solidified the plan that once I get my car im gonna seek a job and said therapy. Once im stable with a job im gonna move out. I have a friend whos gonna share a home with a friend. Ive solidified that in the end game my brother should know. Im still just deciding when i should tell him. The question is before or after my father passes mainly.