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Scared to return home - any advice?

User Profile: shyMelon1151
shyMelon1151 April 11th, 2016

I'm graduating college in just over a month. Since my job offer fell through it looks like I will be moving back in with my parents until I find a job.

When I was 15 I started a relationship with a guy in my class. He was my best friend. As the months past he started going on about how if I loved him I would have sex with him and I would only spend time with him. Slowly he started pushing me away from other friends. By the end of sophomore year I didn't have any friends. He consistently told me i was lucky I was pretty, that I wasn't good enough for anyone, that I should be grateful he liked me, and that the only way to show I loved him was to have sex with him. I kept telling him no, but it didn't stop him. He assaulted me multiple times over two months before I finally broke down and broke up with him. The months that followed weren't much better, the girl he had been hooking up with all summer started sending me death threats and no one believed I was hurting. The counselor I ended up seeing kept telling me he was a good kid and that I was jealous and wanted to ruin his life. I stopped eating for months during junior year, I lost 15lbs in two weeks and I was already underweight. Everyday I had to see him and everyday I was alone. I couldn't hide from him or take separate classes to avoid him. The loneliness pushed me towards self harm and suicidal tendencies.
I love my parents but I'm terrified of returning to where everything happened.
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User Profile: SenshiKitty
SenshiKitty April 11th, 2016

I totally understand your fear. My assault was different but we went to the same high school and not many people know about it. I love seeing my family but I hate going back during breaks (I'm also a senior in college, congrats on graduating!). I also understand how it feels to have people you're supposed to trust tell you or make you feel like you're the bad guy. The assistant district attorney for my case (I semi pursued it) kept going on about how HE wanted to move on and that he was doing great and was getting a degree in nursing. I didn't tell her anything, just nodded my head but that was a personal jab at me. Regardless of where you end up, I know you'll make it! Don't feel trapped. If you feel like you absolutely can't go back then don't. Stay in the city you're in or move somewhere else. Find a cheap apt and a temporary job while you figure out your life. You're not held down! I know I won't be no matter what. :) I believe in you.