Sex Trafficking
Hello, I am really struggling to keep it together. I have CPTSD and some dissociation, and I feel like such a burden to everyone right now. I was horrifically abused as a child, and then again as an adult. I was trafficked by my mother and then again by a “boyfriend.” I am extremely stressed out trying to process this. I have been in therapy for over three years and I am just now getting down to processing the individual details of what happened to me. I am in physical pain remembering the details and trying to process them. To add more context, I recently moved cross country, changed my name, and reported my traffickers to the FBI. I know I’m safer now than I have ever been, but I feel very scared of everyone and everything right now.
@crimsoniggy thank u for sharing a bit of your story here. that's really truly is very brave of u
i'm sorry that u went through abuse in your childhood, an abuse that was enabled by the adult figures who were supposed to take care of u and be there for u. it's very overwhelming for a child to be violated by adult figures. none of it is your fault. u are deserving of support and care
processing this can be hard and it can be difficult to not feel stressed out. i'm glad that you've been going to therapy and starting to process individual details of what happened. processing itself often is very hard, like a twisted road with many ups and downs. it took me a while to accept that coping and healing isn't a straight path. please be as gentle as u can with yourself in the process
i don't think there is any "right" or "wrong" way in coping with the aftermath of trauma or a way that is "enough" or "not enough". i think u are doing very well in taking the steps that u think are the best for u, because it's never easy. i hope u really can be proud of yourself
those emotions can be very hard where we intellectually are aware that we are "safe" but we don't actually feel "safe" as there is alot of fear and scare from everyone around us. your feelings are valid. i think when as a child when we go through trauma, we are forcefully placed in unsafe and painful situations, our bodies and mind start learning to be in those unsafe situations and become hypervigilant. it can be very hard to feel completely safe now because we've been in so many unsafe situations as a child. sometimes what helps me is repeating to myself that "i'm safe, no one is hurting me anymore" and holding some objects that helps me ground
flashbacks of reliving memories of trauma in our heads are very frightening experiences. they can make us feel the hurt again emotionally as well physically sometimes. it's not your fault that your parental and guardian figures in your life violated your trust and enabled your abuse. u did not deserve it. u are deserving of all the good things 💟
