Should I tell my family?
I'm not exactly sure where to start with this, so I guess I'll start with explaining what happened to me. I was around the age of five when a man my father knew molested me. Throughout my childhood, I had to deal with sexual abuse and assaults. I had a lot of cousins, older and younger, male and female, that would play "games" with me. These games consisted of them touching me inappropriately, making me touch them, all things of the sort. My uncle, my mother's half brother, molested me and would give me money, candy, things I liked as a sort of reward. I was so young at the time and I didn't know what was happening was wrong and usually, after the "games" ended, my brain would make me forget it all. And like a lot survivors, I've dealt with hypersexuality and hyperarousal.
I was 10 years old or just newly 11 when I my close friend raped me on several occasions. It wasn't until about a year ago when talking to my now ex-partner about sexual things that they told me the things he, my childhood friend, had done to me were rape. It tore my world apart but within the past year, I've made progress and even told my mother (some) of what happened to me.
Sometime early next year I'm going to go visit my family, which I haven't seen since I was 10, I'll be 16 soon. My aunt, who I'll be staying with, allowed me to open up about my sexual assault since we got back in touch. I'm almost positive that once I go visit, I'll have to visit and spend time with my family outside of my aunt, which includes a lot of uncles, my grandfather, and lots of male cousins. I'm terrified of being a burden, not only because of my trauma but because of my mental health too. I've been going back and forth with whether I should tell my family, not everyone but maybe just my grandparents, uncle, and my other aunt about my sexual assault. I want to do my best to take care of myself and avoid my triggers as much as possible, especially since I'll be away from home, but I'm worried about my family judging me or feeling differently about me. I don't know what I should do.