So angry
TW*** I just need to get this out....I am furious!!!
. The abusers in my life changed me forever. I wish I had a chance to be happy and be true to myself. I never had a chance. My life was stolen STOLEN!!!!.
It started before I was 3 , severe child abuse that changed me before I even had a chance to form my own identity. I had to create one that was phony to fit my circumstances so I could survive. SICKENING! Who breaks the spirit of a toddler???!!
Then came the scary adulthood I wasn't prepared to navigate and the bullies, narcissists and harassers in the world and work force. I wasn't taught the skills/ boundaries one needs in this life to succeed. This level of trauma isolates you all your life, I was emotionally crippled thanks to the people that were supposed to protect me. I didn't always do what was best for me .. Then after my spirit was barely clinging to life I was s. assaulted in the worst possible way. That literally broke me and I don't think I'll ever be able to do what I really want to do. I still don't know who I am . That #$@@&$ perpetrator should be in jail for what he did to me, but he's not. He's living a fabulous life with a family and a great job and financial stability. All the things he does not deserve. Do you think I could drag him to court and win?? No way not without a witness and DNA ..now I've read alot about these types of situations and I know he'd get a slap in the wrist even with a witness / DNA ( read Chanel Millers true account "Know My Name" )....that's why victims don't tell! We know they won't be punished, and we have to tell a courtroom of people every sick detail that occured during the assault. Seriously so hard to do. It took me 6 months to share it with a professional therapist. The only reason I did because I could not hold my horror inside another second.
I'm sorry that was so long but I can't tell anyone else exactly how I feel about my past abuses. This is why I'm on 7 cups I know you all won't judge me.
It just makes me so sad because I could have really lived a beautiful life if my spirit was not broken so young and repeatedly stomped on further. Why do people enjoy breaking others.? It's infuriating.
ABB 💜
@amiableBlackberry92
Oh my God, I hear your anger and rage crying from within and I understand the emotion that drives or fuels these emotions. I really relate to all that you are saying. I too yes am a victim of childhood sexual abuse that began when I was 4. You are right it changes your whole world and it causes us to lose our identity. Yes, they deserve to be punished.
However, this is why we have to tell our stories to help others. It was very brave of you to share your story. I hope that you have been able to obtain therapy. It is a hard and slow journey but we can make it and show our abusers they did not win, We will rise and I am here to support you as well as many others here.💙