TRIGGER WARNING
I have only ever opened up to one of my friends about what happened to me. But i didn't go into detail she doesn't know the exact details. I never talk about and i try not to think about it. But lately when i intoxicated i start to cry about it, and my friend says i basically have a breakdown. Which is why im using this app. She said i need to find some help or atleast talk to someone. But i really don't wanna think about what happened because it's too painful. I sometimes feel like at fault even though i know it wasn't my fault. I just can't help feeling like i could've done something to prevent it. And i honestly feel embarrassed and ashamed about what happened to me. I can't really explain. If anyone could give me some advice to help me move on and heal, i would appreciate it <3
@goodBanana4766 Hello and welcome! Many people who have gone through something traumatic have a very hard time talking about it. There is often shame and embarrassment and even fear some times when talking about what we've gone through.
It isn't your fault, what you've gone through, you didn't deserve that. It's okay to not want to think about it or talk about it. Often it's easier here because we are anonymous and there are many here who understand what you're going through. There's no judgement and you share as much as you're comfortable with, no pressure and no expectations.
With time, it can get easier to talk about and talking about it is very theraputic. With time you will begin to find healing and you will be able to move forward.
@goodBanana4766.......your doing great reaching out here for help. I can say I couldn't even breathe after my assault for 6 months and I didn't tell anyone. Once I could breathe I told my sister because I knew she would understand and support me. I have struggled with shame, guilt, self blame and disgust .. .but I got into therapy and on meds , found 7 cups and I'm alot better I can actually breathe again. It's still very hard to share only my sis and my Therapist know my awful experience. I just wanted you to know your not alone even though you feel like you are, your not at fault, and your not defective ( I thought I was) . I never thought I would function again but I am greatly improved. I have old childhood abuse and the assault mixed with some other traumatic stuff so I'm diagnosed CPTSD/MDD. I started a self care routine of journaling, artistic painting , excercise ( even when I don't feel like it) and spa treatments. I had to start taking good care of myself so I could be part of my family again. It's been a big struggle getting myself out of the dark place in my head but this app is wonderful for support. So many beautiful ppl here. I'm around alot and I understand. 💜ABB