TW// manipulation and gaslighting, minor sexualising another minor, photo reference
2-3 years ago they kept asking for pictures of my thighs, they kept calling me pretty ect and gaslighted and manipulated me now that i noticed. A few days ago i remebered some trauma that i completely forgot about and its scaring me alot. It brought back so much guilt to me. Ive been trying to distract myself from it but its so scary even though i have him blocked on all social media. He still makes me feel so ugly and yucky and i don't know what to do with this trauma plus my trauma from my relatives/parents.
You don't need a perfect past for a bright future. Know urself,Just love urself, forgive urself. You owe you. And learn from ur past and be better. I can understand about ur parents/ relatives. These are testing times for you, use criticism in a good way. You deserve to be happy and no one can take that away from you.
I went through something similar. When I moved out for college I lived in a house with my sister, and she manipulated and gaslighted me over the course of a year. It started out fine but after 2 months she started to bash down on me telling me how aweful I was and how if I would just do “x” then it would be better. Something I didn’t realize until afterwards, she started to dress me up like a doll. She would lay clothes out for me then take me to church to show me off and tell everyone how great she is for bringing me. One of the things that has helped me deal with this is to just breathe and move slowly though it. The other day I had a panic attack due to reliving a memory with her, but I just acknowledged the fact that 1. What she did happened 2. I have a right to feel this way and do not need to be ashamed of it 3. I made it out and am safe Sometimes we just have to take it one step at a time. Something even as small as making it to the next breathe is an accomplishment. I hope after a while this gets easier for you. You are not ugly. You are not worthless. You matter to the world, and we believe in you. 💖