The first time I’m ever sharing this
It happened when I was young and it was done by someone so close to me. I had put it to the back of my mind for all these years but when I found myself progressing with my partner it all came back to me and it hasn’t left my mind. In some ways I feel my partner should know but he won’t understand.
Hi @Allimaris,
It is so difficult to put into words what you have experienced and how it is affecting you today. Know that you are courageous for having taken this step.
I am going to share something that my therapist told me. I have been working on my PTSD related to childhood sexual abuse and have been struggling recently with my partner - also having these same questions, concerns, thoughts on sharing with my partner.
The decision to share with your partner is entirely up to you.
If and when you feel ready to share - you can share as little or as much as you need.
You are worth every drop of kindness, love and compassion you are hoping to get from your partner and if you choose to tell them, remember to put your needs first.
You are not obligated to answer any uncomfortable questions.
You do not need to minimize the seriousness of the conversation in order to ease tension.
You can also communicate what you need before sharing - you say something like "I want to share something with you that happened to me, I am feeling _____(emotion here)____. I need you to respond with kindness and empathy, can you do that?"
If you choose to share with your partner and they react poorly or do not meet your needs, be ready to have other nurturing and solid supports to turn to.
I hope that this helps, gives you some reassurance rather than continued questions on if you want to share what has happened with your partner. I know that even though I haven't shared with my partner yet, I have these in-mind for when the time is right and I feel safe to do so.
All the best,
-Jo