*Trigger Warning* I was sexually assaulted by a family friend when I was a child, AMA

How did your family find out about this incident?

I told my mom once I realized what had actually happened to me. I told my sister when she was trying to defend my dad for something and I told her that I couldn't stand to hear her defend him when it was his fault [that he hadn't been watching me close enough to prevent me from being abused]. I told my dad after my mom confronted him about it because I wanted to see a therapist.

What was going on in your mind during this time when you were being sexual abused?

I didn't really understand what was happening, but as I got older and thought about it more, it started affecting me pretty severely, to the point where I started seeing a counselor about it.

How has this experience affected you in your relationships and daily life?

For a while, I couldn't handle the flash of a camera or having my picture taken because he had taken pictures of me. It was really hard for me to handle people making sexual jokes. I haven't been able to be as intimate with significant others in my life because I can't stop associating sexual acts with him. I'm afraid of being alone, ever.

Do you have triggers?

Camera flashes, sex jokes, flashlights (being flashed in the dark, similar to a camera flash).

How can one best support someone who is being sexually abused?

I honestly wish I could say. For me, it was really important that people let me figure out how I wanted to deal with it on my own, but I think it varies from person to person. Some just want to forget, some want to press charges and get that person away from everyone, some want to talk about it, etc.

How has this experience shaped you current worldview?

I feel like a statistic, sometimes. I'm more likely to assume that people want to hurt me rather than help me.

Is this person still in contact with you? If so, what goes on in your mind and body when you see this person?

Once my mom found out, I stopped going over to his family's house. I was really uncomfortable the few times I saw him before that. I had to be his server last summer, and I felt sick. When I saw him in an arts and crafts store this summer I felt sick again. I mainly regret that he affected so many years of my life, and I hate that he had that power.

Have you ever confronted your assailant regarding this incident?

No.

If you could of changed one thing you did in the past in response to this event what would it be?

I think I've handled it to the best of my ability. I guess if I had to change anything, I would have told my mom about it sooner.

How did this incident first occur?

My dad and his dad were best friends. Our families would collectively hang out a lot. My mom stopped coming so often because she doesn't really like socializing. While the other adults were drinking and watching T.V., he told me to come into his room, so I did. I had no reason to not trust him.