advice?
Warning: This is really long..
My stepdad has basically been grooming me since I’ve been 14/15.. I’m about to be 18. I managed to get a few voice recordings over the years, but I felt as if they weren’t strong enough evidence because he has a way of words. He stopped for a few months last year and I thought everything was turning back to normal. Two days ago he started back out of nowhere when we were alone and told me disgusting things such as thinking of me while getting sexual with my mom. He kept telling me I’m wrong for teasing men like that. I managed to get 2 voice recordings. I finally got something that was strong enough to show my mom. The problem is how scary it is. He’s watched me grow up basically, I considered him a second dad. He’s the dad of two of my siblings. I feel as if I’m going to break the whole family up and nothing will ever be the same again. I know that these voice recordings will hurt my whole family and it’s scary not knowing what will happen. I graduate in 4 months and I’m starting to dread it because I’m planning to show my mom on my graduation day (the day I plan on moving out). Could I get any advice? It will be appreciated, especially if anyone has went through something similar. I don’t know what to do anymore.
You are not the one in the wrong here so don’t feel like you are. You are a strong brave independent woman who is going to move on and be successful in life.
Your mum is your mum and yes I’m guessing it is going to hurt her and she will probably say it’s all lies at first because she will be scared and hurt and not want to believe it, but she also knows that you are her daughter and she has to keep you and your siblings safe.
You will more than likely get the questions of; why didn’t you speak out sooner? Where did this happen? How did it happen? How did you feel? The list goes on and you will probably have to answer these questions a few times. Be prepared but don’t give up. People like your step dad don’t deserve to be happy. I would sit down with your mum before and open up to her.
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I just want to thank you so much. I read your message right before I went to school and it would not get off of my mind. I ended up telling my mom.
It was extremely difficult and nerve-wracking, but everything went as well as a sad situation like this could get. She’s very upset, but she promised she’d get us out of this situation safely. Thank you so much for giving me that push I needed!
Think about it, if you do not inform your mother, something worse will happen
Thank you! I thought about it, and confided in a teacher. They told a counselor who told my mom. Everything will be fine, we’re trying to safely sort things out.
I am so happy you have been able to speak out and had the confidence to do so. The only way now is forward. I wish you a lifetime of happiness with no regrets.
well done proud of you
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Thank you so much, seriously. I wish the best for you as well! ❤️
@royaltyniahhh,
You absolutely did the right thing. Like one of the previous commenters, the situation could have gotten much worse, and your stepdad needs help. This may be the very thing that helps him to a path of wellness. Thank you for your courage! Your family is better off because you told your mom and school administration about his behavior and inappropriate comments! We’ll done!! 👍🏼
Thank you so much ☺️.
My stepdad actually ended up confessing and apologizing to my mom before she even said anything. He seems like he’s genuinely sorry and he does feel disgusted with himself. He told her that he isn’t mad at me for telling someone, and agrees that he does need to see a therapist to get help. Since he seems genuine, I’m not going to hold anything against him. Hopefully we can all heal and they will be able to coparent healthily.
