[tw] I saw one yesterday
I have been raped and abused my whole life it started when I was 3-6 then. The second one when I was 18 i was 5 months pregnant . I found out a few weeks after the rape that he gave me an std. It was the hardest moment of my life it the time. I became numb from him. There were 2 more after him but he gave me something to take with me and that was the worst thing ever. Yesterday I was coming out of a gas station and saw him pull up on a motorcycle. His whole face was covered by the helmet and he had glasses on but I recognized his tattoos on his shoulders. Its been 7 years since ive seen him but thats how bad he hurt me. And I didnt just see him he saw me .... He fcking looked at me. It was like he wasnt just looking at me he was admiring what he took from me. Like how dare him be able to look at me it was like he was doing it all over again every second he looked at me was a tear that fell from my eyes and I hated that he got to witness me cry. Why me? Why ?
@impartialTriangle3302
Hey..it's so freaking brave of you to open up about your experience here. *offers hugs and strength* It must have been so difficult to be abused at such a young age and in your late teens as well. From personal experience, I know the deep scars such experiences can leave.
What you said about him "leaving you with something", that's true. He gave you something that you might never be able to let go of. There's more to what he left you with as well. He left you with strength to go through so much, And that by itself makes you so much better than him. The people who commit such acts are cowards on the inside, and you're braver than all of them combined.
I can't imagine what it was like to see him. It appeared to you as if he was living a normal life, without any remorse about what he did. While, for you, it immediately resurfaced the memories, and you couldn't hold back a tear. I want you to know that it's okay for you to cry. After all that, crying would simply be a normal reaction. As for your questions about "why me?", there's no answer. It just happens and we have no control over it. The thing we can control is our reaction to it. You're a survivor, not a victim and you're going to get better and prove all of them wrong. 
Take care of yourself, because you deserve it~Sierra
