i was only about four when it started, stopped when i was 7-8. i was only a child. a mother shouldn't touch her child like that. it can't be normal. i always blame myself for feeling upset and scared. "it wasn't that serious" "you barely remember" "stop playing victim,it was only for fun",i tell myself things like that all the time. i still have to face her every day,pretend like the things she did haven't affected me in any way,pretend like it never happened. i get so so nervous whenever i hear children crying because it just reminds me of what she did, how she would always treat it like a joke,tell me i was overreacting. how she wouldn't stop when i told her no. my body becomes cold,i feel sick and jumpy and panicky. i hate it. i hate it i hate her. people always say that "if anything happens just tell your /mom/!! no one can touch those areas of your body like that except your /mom/!!! you can always trust your /mother/!!" like f you sorry that my experience isn't like the storys you hear on the news and that my molester doesn't fit the stereotypical "old man in a coat giving candy to children" type predator (not that those aren't real or that their victims aren't valid). sorry that i didn't/don't have any adult i could/can tell.
