Still haunted
hello, i just wanted to vent here, its been 6yrs since i was extremely bullied in school and also in the internet, im still haunted by my past mistakes i did in college, i became very toxic in social media and i made shameful things like posting some s*x topics and ranting about my enemies in fb, even though i just used dummy acct at that time, i was still recognized by my relatives and friends and also my professor, and i had a very bad record because of it, i suffered the consequences of what i did, i find it hard to maintain a job because i was being gossiped by my former coworkers and they stalked me through my accts and thats the time i decide to just resign because i cant take it, my mental health was suffering a lot, after i resigned, the bullying was gradually stopped because i decide to become private in all my accounts and choose to become a freelancer, but somehow i still haunted by it, whenever i go out, i wear a hoodie and mask in order that people would not recognize me, and i think it is effective because i can move freely without their judgment
@silentbuster26
Those sound like very haunting experiences, being bullied can stick with us for a long time. I can relate to posting things on social media I wish I hadn't and feeling like people maybe use my past against me. I also had an experience where I was being discriminated against at work and ultimately lost my job due to my mental healthy deteriorating during that time. I just started a new job and that previous experience still haunts me making me scared of "when it is going to happen again."
It sounds pretty lonely and isolating having to hide when you go out. I hope that someday you don't have to feel like it's necessary, but with what you've experienced I can understand why you'd want to hide. I want to encourage some self-compassion. We all say/do things we regret later, and beating ourselves up over it just makes it so much worse. You deserve peace.
thank you so much ☺️ i hope the same for you too
