need for attention
when i was between the ages of 8 to 12 people at school were mean to me. at home i felt like my brother got all the attention because he has high support needs, i felt like my problems were never heard or seen. it made me feel lonely. at school i was targeted by classmates. they would call me names or follow me around. i have never thought of it as bullying, but maybe it was. attention is attention, no matter from who it comes or how it makes you feel. even if the things they said were mean at least they talked to me, made me feel seen. at some point it started getting less, and for some reason i missed the attention. i felt bad for 'wanting to be bullied', but what i wanted wasnt being bullied but for someone to pay attention to me.
@fallenstar4
I can relate to being bullied and felt desperate to get away from it. It happened from first grade through to the 9th. It seems like wanting attention is another way of saying you're lonely. There's something missing when attracting bullies for attention. There's no empathy, or desire to understand what kind of person you actually are. With bullies, there's a barrier to prevent what you actually need -nurturing and caring.
I found that I'd rather be alone than around people who'd torment me. I became very used to being alone. Even now, I really like a lot of alone time.
There is a philosophy that suggests that if you want something such as attention, the best way for it to happen is to give attention. In short, it says, "give what you most wish to receive." That could be giving support, nurturing, expressions of kindness, being a good listener, and so on.
In my situation, it seemed to happen overnight that I became quite popular. I think it's because I'm naturally a good listener, and tried to help people feel better. It took quite a while for me to stop feeling shy and self-conscious because I wasn't used to such attention.
Rest assured, you're not alone in feeling a lack of positive attention. Are there others around you that might enjoy attention from you?
