Anxiety about working in IT as a programmer
I've studied programming in high school and then in Univercity.
But during my time in Univercity I was under a lot of stress,
constant fights with parents at home and relationship problems with my first ever serious relationship.
These things made me unable to focus at all at studying.
I put my Univercity on pause for 2 years. Fixed the other parts of my life and came back to it.
I basically got to the final exam part and then just lost all motivation to study again.
It has been 2 years since then and I don't even know if I have my student rights anymore or not.
The Univercity system was stupid with some teachers having wayyy too high standarts and failing 90% of people. And other not caring enough to teach you.
All this made me develop severe Anxiety that gets triggered if I start looking into getting in programming again. When it was at it's worse simply thinking I have to go to the Univercity made me have a panic attack.
But aside from being good at things with computers and knowing good English. I don't really have any other job skills.
I am turning 30 in 1 month. At this point I am starting to lose hope that I can find "my true purpose" that can be directed towards making a living.
The only things I've been good at were maths and dealing with computers.
So I find it very hard that the only thing I've had a talent at has become a source of stress to even think about it.
@Zemoch you know there is no rush, 30 is still young. You can study at your own pace, with online courses, if that's something you want to do. Or just take a break till your ready to do college and uni. But you gotta ask yourself if this is a cause of so much stress for you, is it really worth it. I'm not exactly sure what to say, sorry. But please look after yourself, remember your health comes first. Gives you a giant tiny hug ❤ wishes you all the best ❤
@Tinywhisper11
My mental health has improved massively last few years for sure.
And I know I have time but damn I just wish I could say proudly what my jobs is when I meet a new person.
@Zemoch huggs you tightly ❤❤
Hello @Zemoch,
It seems that you have a lot on your plate.
The stress coming from the studies itself & whether to continue pursuing it.
The disagreement within the home.
there is a relationship issue &
age seems to catch up wondering which path to take.
I hope I am not missing anything that you have shared.
Imagine you are with a Therapist in a session,
most likely you would be asked which issue will be a top priority
that seems most concerning for you.
Given what you shared,
it seems whether to continue pursuing the course & stay in the discipline
looks very concerning to you.
I know of someone who graduated in Business Studies with a diploma
went to pursue legal studies hoping to be in the profession
to help the less fortunate after passing the bar exam.
However the person did not continue due to circumstances,
he went to work in a Telecommunication corporation without any technical background
and returning to pursue a degree in Business Administration
eventually completed the degree in Business Administration.
To cut the story short,
but today the person realised his passion is Mental Health
helping those in need.
The person completed additional studies in Psychotherapy & Counselling
which differs from the discipline in which he graduated.
All of us are exploring our own life journey
I believe the focus is we need to define one's meaning in life.
Albert Ellis:
"Try to create a vital meaning and absorbing interest in your life
that you adapt from others or mainly construct yourself.
Dedicate yourself,
but not rigidly,
to developing and following your meaning."
I hope the quote helps you in your journey
so that you may feel less anxious
& be able to re-evaluate your options.
For your reference.
@AnalystINTJ
I did go to a therapist about 5-6 sessions in the beginning of the year.
It just felt like he is giving me some general information. I have so many stories to tell about how my personality and mentality was formed that I feel like he never understood what is the source of my worries.
Hello @Zemoch,
Seeking a Therapist to work with is not an easy one,
that is something I have to be honest with.
Recommend someone to seek a Therapist is easy,
but how to look for one is another matter.
The fact that you had sought a Therapist is on the right track. :)
I would suggest if I may...
Do look at the Therapist's credentials;
Which school of thought that the Therapist was trained in
e.g. CBT? Gestalt? Reality Therapy with Choice Theory, RTCT...
as well as Specialization e.g. Career Counselling, family and/or Relationship Counselling, etc.
Read about the reviews on the works of the Therapist (if any).
If you have decided to seek a particular Therapist,
you may sit in for 1 to 3 sessions & you probably would know whether a rapport is built...
if you feel that you are not being understood,
chances are there is no chemistry between the Therapist & you.
You may also need to decide what you feel more comfortable with?
Would you like a Therapist that deals with disputing irrationality in thoughts?
Or working on your awareness of one's feelings?
Or exploring options for your issues on choices etc
I hope the above provides you with some 'directions" and/or "tips"
in looking for your next Therapist to work with.
For your reference. :)
Hi!
just to add another point of view, if you want to work in IT/programmimg it doesn't requires a Bachelor degree from University anymore.
If you are good with one coding language and you build a portfolio with some good demo projects to show your skills, you can apply to many junior positions as developer.
if you think University is not for you in this moment of life, you can also apply to "coding bootcamps" or online courses.
there is plenty of them (from 3 to 6 months duration) and often they introduce you to tech companies hiring developers at the end of the course.
Maybe it can be a nice option you can evalute, otherwise as others suggested, you can explore something different in other fields of your life and see what happen next.
best
@GentleBeing797
Originally I wanted to do such a coding bootcamp without going to Univercity alone.
But pressure from parents not believing in that and them being the one paying for my education,
made me go to Univercity.
I know a good one I can apply to. It's just I'm afraid I will waste even more time in an area I dont wanna be in.
@Zemoch Hi! What's your goal right now? Are you planning to venture into securing a job in that domain? I'm in a similar situation. Currently, I'm working on projects for my portfolio to regain my confidence and aiming to secure a job as a software engineer.
@ioan489
I am looking to change jobs sure. But I do not have skills to do more than some basic algorithms.
I know several people already that DID work in IT and then got so stressed out by it then don't wanna touch it anymore. But I also know others that have no issues programming for 7yrs+
So just afraid to invest time in something I feel I will fail at.