Confused

I am lost and confused. I have three sons and a husband that is more like a child than a partner. He is always mad at me or the kids. He wants to be first, he wants more attention. I do what I can and I make things happen. I am a married single mother. If he isn't mad and complaining to us, he's acting like a little old person, curled up watching movies. I want to be in my feminine energy but I am the mom and the dad. I cannot rely on him for much anymore. I've tried talking, but I end up listening and absorbing the anger he gives most of the time. There is no initiative, no effort. If he doesn't get what he expects quickly, then it's not good enough. He waits for me to do it all. I'm sad. I'm confused. We have been married almost 20 years now. I try to hold it together for my kids. I don't know what to expect from this post- I just wanted to post and get it out. Thanks for listening.