Hellooooo

@convivialTree

Welcome 🤗 

You don't need to be shy here.

We are warm.

Open.

Non judgemental.

And always happy to share a laugh in the forums 🤗💚

@convivialTree

hello !

Hey welcome, I would love to be your freind if you ever want to talk or need help just message me i hope everything goes well for you👋😁

Hello 👋

Hi. Thank you a million for sharing you. You will never know how much l got from reading. I am looking for connection. I'm an all alone, reject of each 'friend" l had, my last living brother and right after my son died. These are the same folks for whom l would quite literally die for. Didn't care. People l gave heart and soul to, 30 and 40 yr relationships too.

The famous " l just to crash a week or 2" that turned to yrs. The money " loans" l never saw again. And alp the while, the closest person in the world to me is 5000.5%, full fledge a person with NPD. If you you don't know about it, thank. If you do, oh God! My hands in yours.

This " darling" was slowly, secretly and with precision and skill in producing tailored made for me, MAXIMUM DESTRUCTION  as opposed to "oops l hurt you a little"and  want it that way! The entire goal is you REMAIN destroyed, so wounded thany form of recovery for you is an impossibility. I call them " things" because the joy they take in it being The One who could say "got her!" is not of God nor God if you believe.  I do. They quite literally HATE your good, your abilities, talent, gifts light and them not so much. And they need the target so low they get high.  Can you justify calling it a person? I can't 

Can you imagine this open to your innermost circle? Knowing strength, weaknesses, likes and dislikes, worse, WANT YOU WANT MOST ( so they have a heads up on blocking it for you) WHAT YOU FEAR (and make it happen)

Usually, NO enemy could get that close and STAY. We figure it out (most of the time) miles before they can do that kind of damage. Usually, that level of hatred can't be concealed for long. 

And that's the whole crazy making lunacy NPD is. The hate is REAL, make no mistake. BUT SO IS THE LOVE! Admiration to the point of envy and jealousy because of NOT having INSIDE ( sorry but wear Armani and helped me none) Some can eventually get your outside. While NOBODY but the One who gave YOU the inner gifts specific to you aline, can't be so much as imitated. You'd look like fool. I personally LOVE people who shine, are exceptional at something, inspired by that stuff, it motivates. If it doesn't, BIG HINT: the problem isn't the other guy, mt friend

Even if your gift your is your inner GOOD, your capacity to feel love and compassion. In TODAY'S Epstein world, you are AMAZING.  I would love a friend like you. Wouldn't kiss your ***  but nor l except you to. Mad respect to you. I'm about it! I'm loving and kind NOT scared of sh%", will not take any. Respect and support to you! And l ALWAYS cherish a gem. Knowing someone is hurting, you KNOW all about and feel empathy.  The super special, hurt with you. Who on earth would want to destroy just because they're not it. I say then go develop good traits a step at a tume. Because NOTHING excuse the dark ***, torture, paun so deep it seems l may just stip brearhung. And l do mean literally die from the pain.

Only a Sadistic evil and animal heart could WANT that for the only person who loves this way. Kill me because you're spiritual lly dead. Insanity. What but the lion standing over its demolished prey takes ANY joy in destroying either good or innonence. Good people only take joy in the destruction of bad.

But, l'm a creative in the entertainment industry and OMG folks!. But born to do this diddy- land work. SURROUNDED by the most evil and all while giving you the warmest smile..Just vile.

I suffer with CPTSD Cmean complex

And Betrayal trauma. I said l would LOVE a good and decent friend but never said l'd ever trust it if such a person existed. My CHILD was my betrayer. Lost job, home, money, congregation, family my gra kids making sure to leave NOTHING  then wished me dead. "Sorry mom ain't gonna cut it) l see her picture and cringe.  Maybe l deserved it? But could anyone deserve from the one they breast fed? My mother tucked and changed her diapers in MY house. She kicked me out of hers as a teen. But she was my mom. I don't understand and this helps but makes me cry to remember. I will never trust again but here to ATTEMPT to still search out good and interact with it whenever l see it shining.  I pray l don't.  I don't trust it. While praying l DO see ot shining anywhere to give this thing l lost. Hope for MYSELF.. it's easy to hope for all of you. And if you read all of this, a big THANK YOU just letting me have somewhere to get it out. Truly 

The wrong was hers, but guess who carries SO much shame it's unspeakable. Hugs guys, C

I

Open to sharing with anyone who may be struggling with ptsd or CPTSD as a result of trauma. NPD Abuse, child abuse betrayal trauma, and up pretty. Think we'll, feel wellness. Hugs