I am just so lost

So I am a 17 years old having my final school year
This year in my country is so Important , The career of my life will be literally based on it 
In all of my previous years I was acing grades , that ofc doesn't do anything compared to this year
I feel depressed and lost , I am wasting my time not wanting to study just staying in my room , and I don't feel well in general , my sleep schedule is broken , my weight is not good at all ( low ) 

and this freaks me up , lets say I had planned to leave my country years before 
like really LEAVE it , I don't like the culture nor the religion, the safety, also some thoughts or groups are REALLY not welcomed around the people don't have feelings at all , Like this is my first day here and I have seen some replies to others threads that really melted my heart , some replies that I wish I can hear from somebody face to face even if it was only once in my life
Yeah so about leaving the country my only hope was getting a really high grade that can get me out of here by scholarship in another real country

even though I have my family around I have people at school who I have been friends with for a lot of time with and we really chat and make jokes and whatever friends stuff, but its like that I am just talking to them cuz I don't want to stay lonely , I really don't think I have something in common with them and the fact that I cant share the most basic point of views such as rejecting my country religion , or supporting some side , The only one who really know about my believes but not really in depth are my family, also the friendship is really weird like It was my birthday and the first one who recognized it is my brother at the evening by a social media page notification he told my happy birthday and he kinda felt sad for me and then my family told my happy birthday one person at a time , And i had to pretend that I didn't care when the reality is that day was a lot of crying lets say , also all of my previous birthdays ended in a similar way lets say any birthday over 12-13 
they brought a cake in the day after which even made the pain come again but even more powerful

well lets say my social life isn't the best, also I don't interact in social media at all
I think my family is just thinking this is my personality but I don't think anybody personality can bring pain , I just idk umm writing this dropped some weight I have so much to say but I think I am not connecting things properly right now , also sorry for any typos

ًWish me luck..