Parenteral Alienation - Dads
Hello everyone. Going through a tough time after separation and divorce. Ex and 2 young kids live in a foreign country. Last saw them 8 months ago and have been denied contact for 5 months. Wondering if there are others going through similar and how do you cope with the sadness from missing out!! Deeply Missing my little ones 😔
@funnyThinker5889
Hello. It's extremely sad to hear about your suffering. I guess I know how you feel because I have been going through some similar things for years... It's a mixture of grief, pain, sadness, vulnerability and anger.
May I ask what is behind "I have been denied contact"? Was it legal?
Unfortunately, there are some ladies today who think in a way "Well, we were in love(?), I got pregnant, but now just gimme the money and stay away from _MY_ children!" And then they start to be elusive to let you see (or, actually: not see) your children—what is selfish, morally unfair (a kind of hijacking and extortion sticked together), and ignoring the kids' emotional needs, health and right to have both parents.
You are a father, and you have the right to see your children, unless you did anything that made the court decide otherwise. Even though many people say it's extremely easy to fake it, because the legal procedures connected with family issues are much more neglectful than those connected with persecution of a crime.
Are you going to fight for your right as a father—not by any aggression, but by using legal means, wisdom and perseverance?
What helps me is having my job, my friends, and many other activities, meeting my family sometimes and being in contact with my kids through electronic media all the time, even if I can't see them in person at the moment.
What is also helpful to me is believing that Karma (or God, any way you name it) can work without you, and people who recklessly harm other people will get their comeuppance. Whereas children grow up one day and discover the truth with their own eyes. And it can really backfire on the unfair parent then.
Still, no family can be happy experiencing separation and isolation 😢 I keep my fingers crossed for you 🙏
Thanks jacek73. They currently reside in a foreign country, Been separated for 3 years, I eventually gave in and filed for the divorce this year. Unreasonable demands during parenteral agreement negotiations. Eventually she has resulted in using kids as a weapon denying them access to electronic devices and there is not much legal options left as they are in a different country. Only thing I have is eventually they will come back to the country. But we keep prompting her through lawyer on PRA negotiations.
It's tough on me, but it must be worse for my 11 and 6 year old.....
@funnyThinker5889 My heart goes out to you. I too am divorced and estranged from my adult children and grandchildren. It is extremely difficult to deal with. Some days are worse than others. I try to just keep going, keep busy, and pray that one day we will be reunited. I wish I had more to offer. Wishing you blessings on your journey.