Ready to run away from my life.

Alcoholic husband who is completely not ok either right now.  Anyone else find alcoholism difficult to deal with not that I’m perfect but he and most I know avoid issues and drown them in booze. Maybe I’m wrong for not wanting that or maybe I’d do better if I did? I wonder. My Illness has recently got worse I have financial problems also. A lot of regressed anger also coming out as for many years I was not able to feel or discuss things now I can but I self destructed feeling these experiences. I recently felt like not having anything to do with anyone or anything from past? How that will help I don’t know but that’s how I feel. Just pray for me if you will a lot of oppression over the years but it has to be that way as it’s not socially acceptable to discuss my experiences that caused my PTSD. I do have a testimony of how God has helped me when I look back I can see it so I should be hopeful but it’s hard right now. I feel upset as their are no support groups or public support for my issues and would enjoy company in life instead of everything be quiet and no understanding