i’d do anything just to be happy for once
i’m not sure what went wrong, but like every kid i was happy and enjoyed life but at one point during the start of highschool everything kinda just changed, i became depressed and distant and didn’t know what to do anymore. i ended up going to therapy after my parents convinced me but it made me feel uncomfortable and it never helped so i stopped going after just a few weeks. some years later i’m less depressed but i’m in more of a state of constant emptiness, like nothing i can do will make me feel truly happy like things once did. i do hangout with my friends and talk to family but it feels like putting on a facade, because once it’s over i go back to feeling empty. everything i’ve read says i should reach out to friends or family and let them know, but just the thought of trying to explain how i feel makes me uncomfortable.
recently my friend asked me to hang out with him and some new people i’d never met, i decided to say yes even though i knew my social anxiety would make it hard, but i really truly believed i could finally convince myself to break out of my anxiety but in the end i couldn’t do anything but follow them around and not say anything. this gave myself confirmation that i will never be happy again, because no matter how hard i try i just fail and discourage myself even more. i’m not expecting any help or sympathy, in fact this is the first time i’ve done something like this. but at this point id do anything just to feel something
@nadiric Thank you for opening up and sharing your experiences with us. It takes courage to express your emotions and struggles, especially when it feels like happiness and fulfilment have become elusive. While I can't fully understand your unique circumstances, I want you to know that you're not alone in feeling this way, and there is support available to you.
It's disheartening when therapy didn't provide the help you were hoping for. Therapy can be a personal journey, and it's important to find the right approach and therapist that resonate with you. It might be worth considering giving therapy another chance, exploring different therapeutic modalities, or seeking out a new therapist who can better understand your needs.
The constant emptiness you're experiencing can be overwhelming, and it's understandable that reaching out to friends or family to explain how you feel can be uncomfortable. However, opening up to someone you trust and sharing your struggles can provide a sense of relief and support. Consider choosing someone close to you whom you feel comfortable confiding in, and remember that they may be more understanding and supportive than you anticipate.
The social anxiety you faced during the recent hangout is undoubtedly challenging. Breaking out of anxiety takes time and practice, and it's important to be patient with yourself. Consider seeking professional help specifically for managing social anxiety, as therapists and support groups can provide strategies and guidance to navigate these situations.
Please know that there is hope for improvement and a brighter future ahead. It may take time to find the right support and coping mechanisms, but you deserve to feel happiness and fulfilment again.
Remember, you are not alone, and there are people who genuinely want to support you. Don't hesitate to reach out to them when you feel ready. Keep holding on, and keep believing in the possibility of rediscovering joy and fulfilment in your life. Take care ❤️
