I came out to my mom yesterday and I am so scared right now
Hello everyone!
I am new to this platform and I came here because I have nowhere else to turn to. Yesterday, I told my mom that I identify as bisexual and I want to move in with a girl who identifies as a lesbian.
My mom doesn't believe that I am bisexual, she thinks I am just lonely or impacted by my lesbian friends. However, I really did develop feelings for a girl, and they feel strong and real to me. It's true that I haven't developed a crush on a girl or dated a girl before, so sometimes I do question what made me like this girl specifically.
Anyways, my mom threatens to end our daughter/mom relationship if I move in with the girl and I felt so hurt. I cannot believe this is her first reaction, instead of trying to listen to my side of the story and believe what I have said and how I feel, she chose to abandon me and threaten me. I know that she loves me deeply but she is only pushing me away.
I feel so vert lonely ad confused because there are not many people who know about this secret. not to mention that I am attending a really intense program in college and I have a few exams coming up... Can anybody please give me some suggestions and support?
Much appreciated!!!!! :)))
@sensitiveChestnut7743 Hi. I’m sorry your mom had this reaction. You must be feeling really hurt. Sometimes humans act as if they want to leave someone else behind when really they are just afraid and want their pain to go away, not really the other person. I doubt your mom wants to end your mother/daughter relationship. What she wants is “her” story of that relationship to remain as it was. She is afraid for you, she is afraid for herself. You were open and vulnerable with her and she reacted in an unsupportive and probably in what feels like a hostile way. She wants to keep you hostage with this threat. She might feel almost the same if you said you were moving in with a man, but this is that reaction PLUS this whole other thing where she might even be feeling, “what did I do wrong as a mom,” and “how do I protect my daughter,” and “how do I protect my ego and how do I react to my friends and family”. And it’s sad to see her reacting in such a fearful way. It’s bad for you, it’s bad for her, and it’s also totally expected.
@helpfulAvocado7912 Sorry…was not able to finish my post. What I wanted to offer was general support, and if you can forgive your Mom. Try to see her vulnerability. Hopefully she will soften and you’ll get through this. Maybe slow down on moving out right away to give your mom some time. I’m sorry you have this on top of a really stressful school project. I hope things get lighter and brighter for you soon.
— All the best
@sensitiveChestnut7743 I'm sorry you're experiencing this with your mom, sometimes parents have a hard time understanding and don't want to believe that we feel a certain way about something or whatever it is. I experience it with my parents at times where I'll share that I don't see something the same way as them and alot of times they will get upset, hurt or try to talk me out of how I feel by saying you don't think that way, so and so made u think that way. I highly doubt your mom wants to end your relationship because to me it sounds like she's just having a hard time accepting that you feel how you feel and probably wasn't expecting it.
@sensitiveChestnut7743
hello
@sensitiveChestnut7743 your mother should be thankful you were able to be open and honest with her. she feels powerless right now and hopefully she will come to her senses
@sensitiveChestnut7743Well, I don't know how to comfort you, but I'm also bisexual, and I'm lucky that my parents are supportive of my sexuality, and I think it's only right to stick to myself, so I suggest finding the right time to talk to your mom about it, maybe there's a windfall