I have just recently broken things off with my Manipulative Ex-Girlfriend, and I am having a hard time dealing with everything
We were dating for over a year, long distance.. I broke things off with her yesterday, and I am having a problem getting through it all. I have been suffering with my mental health for a long time, and this is not helping at all. She has been heavily manipulating me, controlling me, guilt tripping, and isolating me from my friends and family while making me feel like everything is my fault.. I finally broke things off with her, and she instantly started a Bumble online dating app account, and is posting a lot on her stories about being super happy... Basically targeting me with everything.. I recently blocked her everywhere, but it's still all getting to me, and I am feeling so incredibly depressed... I don't know what to do, all my hobbies that I used to like I have no motivation for, and my life feels so empty.. I thought I would feel free... But I feel so destroyed.. I need help.. I don't know what to do anymore...
If anyone needs more info, I have many many bad stories to tell to give more insight.. I just don't know what to do with myself anymore.
@DirtCykoz
Hello there! 🌸
Thank you so much for posting here. 😊
I read your post and it seems like you are going through a lot. Relationships are lovely in general and it is also a place where we can be vulnerable and show a hidden side of us that others might not know of. That is why we have romance/love as an entire genre in art. But things can get worse if our vulnerability is used against us. I find manipulation a very subtle form of hurting like a dull pain from our body which we do not know where exactly it is originating from. Or it could be seen as being in water that is slowly rising in temperature. By the time we realize it is hurting us, a lot of damage is already done.
You mentioned that you broke up this relationship recently and it was doing more harm than any good to you. The thing with manipulation is, as you also mentioned, it leaves us in a very confused, gaslit stage, where we question if our actions were right or wrong. Should we have isolated all other people? Was this worth it? Was that worth it? And when we cut off from it, it feels like this emptiness, as you mentioned.
"I thought I would feel free... But I feel so destroyed.. I need help.. I don't know what to do anymore... "
9 times out of 10, this is what it feels like. That line describes it well. And I guess the best thing you did for now for you was to leave such people on their own and cut off your association from this because we don't know what it might lead to in the future. It might turn out that they regret and realize what they did and take accountability. Or things keep escalating and we get deeper into this problem. It could be any of those, but I guess you assessed the risk and took the best possible decision for you.
I understand it hurts and the reminders of it and seeing posts related to it would lead to a lot of thoughts. I guess it is going to be a bit longer process of recovery from it. What do you think?
