Constantly unhappy
I cant stop feeling unhappy or unsatisfied. I cant make sense to why I keep asking very self-loathing questions to my boyfriend. Asking if Im his type, if he finds other people desirable, etc. Knowing it would damper my mood hearing the answer. These questions wont escape my head and it keeps knawing at me until I say them outloud. How can I stop needing validation to something I have to give myself? This has been going on for so many years and I still cant find a healthy solution. I just need help, Im so tired.
@PizzaPoodles
Hi pizza, what a great nickname.
Ok, a couple of suggestions.
First, ask your boyfriend if he minds. Many will be delighted that it just takes a few words, repeated hourly, to keep you sweet. I suspect it irritates you far more than him.
Secondly, check out your own Convincer Strategy. Once you find that out you may find it's a whole lot easier for him, and you, to convince you that you are just as good as all the rest of us.
@DavidEss
Thank you for your reply and name compliment!
So, I should ask if hes okay complimenting me every-so-often throughout the day?
Im not quite sure I know much about Convincer Strategies...
@PizzaPoodles certainly it's worth a shot.
Here's some info on Convincer Strategies
https://nlp-mentor.com/convincer-strategies/
Here's how it works. I had previously discovered that I had a written convincer. So that means that I tend to believe what I see in writing, more than people telling me.
I went through a phase of doubting that I was worthy of being loved. I told my wife and family, and they responded by deluging me with written cards, little letters, written reminders that they loved me. And because my brain reponds to written stuff in that way, I became convinced!
It's like magic, but it's just applied neuroscience really.
@DavidEss
This is amazing really! Ill look more into it amd talk to him about it. It may even help a few friends. Thanks so much!
@PizzaPoodles
Good luck! It helps when you KNOW that it is true. Then it's just deprogramming all the I'm not worthy' crap which takes time and effort but is completely doable.
