Breakups
I need as much advice as I can get please reply to this if you read it all the way through. My boyfriend of 10 months left because he feels stressed with life and just wants to focus on basketball this upcoming school year (senior year). He’s been super dedicated to working hard to get offers to play in college but now he said he feels so stressed because he’s scared he is doing all this work for nothing. He feels like he’s so stressed he doesn’t know what he wants anymore and doesn’t wanna commit to anything too early since he just wants to focus on basketball. We had a great connection together so he wanted to stay friends. And we have been super close this entire time and he’s been making an effort to make sure that we are friends and there’s no problems. I don’t know if I should just wait till he is ready to commit because our relationship was perfect before it ended or if I should just move on because if he truly wanted it he would try super hard to make it work. I really love him and I want him back and I want to wait but it makes me so anxious I feel like I bother him when I bring it up.
Hi Sydney! Maybe just talk to him to see if he wants to get back with you once he is less stressed. But if you truly wanted to be with him maybe talk to him and say that you'll support him through out his basketball career that he wants. Reassure him that he's not doing it for nothing that he is doing an amazing job it could help to hear those words. I hope that you are okay. If you really want him and want to wait for him then that is your choice but if you want to move on then please do so. Your happiness comes first remember that.
@Sydneycliffordd hello sydney, advice is something I cannot give because you know yourself better than anyone else & I can only give you my insight but you are the one who will receive the results of your decision so only you can make a decision for yourself.
I'd just like to add a few things onto @Pinkieshy98 's wonderful answer. Sometimes, people with career dreams can get really obsessive about it. That's because they want to succeed in their field of choice no matter what because it's what they've wanted to be for as long as they can remember. It's difficult for them to control how they go about it but it seems like your boyfriend is trying as hard as he can to manage both you and his career. Right now, he needs your full support. He can't do it without you. He needs someone to believe in him and reassure him that it's going to be okay. That he will get in. Maybe, he loved the relationship too and he didn't want to risk doing anything that would damage it. He couldn't focus all his effort on getting offers on college if he was also worried about not having given you enough attention or having said something wrong specially when he's so stressed he doesn't trust himself to maintain the relationship properly.
Everyone gets worried about whether "if he truly wanted it, he would" but, that's not really how it works. Because he truly wanted it, he's not risking the relationship. He's not putting it on the line for his career. This doesn't mean that he cares any less. I know that you're anxious and worried about what to do, I would be too. But something I've learned is, when you really love something? You learn to think for them. You trust them. You stop beginning your thoughts with "Does he want me?" and start beginning them with "He needs me right now, it's us against the world."
Don't make the mistake of assuming he wants you to move on, he stayed friends with you for a reason. However, you shouldn't refrain from communicating how you feel just because you're worried of the impact it'll make. Not saying something makes things even worse than that ever could. So, communicate. Let him know how you feel. Work it out between yourselves. But, remember. He needs your support right now more than ever.
If you'd like you can pm me, and keep me updated, I will be with you every step of the way so that you know you're not alone. I will help you sort out your thoughts should you need it <3