Feeling lost, and scared

Hello

I’m 21 and I’ve been struggling to move out for a long time now.

I’ve lived a very boring/sheltered life and I’m ready to move out on my own, but I can’t find anywhere thats affordable.

All I’ve wanted to do since I got out of school was to get a job, and get away from my dad’s place so I can try and move on with my life, but theres been several obstacles in the way.

Over a year ago, my hips decided to go out on me basically, making it impossible to walk properly or get out of my bed, it was the worst pain I’ve ever felt in my life, and it’s only just started to get better a little while ago; however it hasn’t resolved itself completely. I still have trouble sleeping some nights and every couple of days, so I need to take an anti-inflammatory.

I’ve had a goal in mind to go to the pool more to try and excercise the kink out while the doctors take their time to get back to me, but it’s been difficult.

I have a car, and a part time job, and I’m paying rent for my dad out in the middle of nowhere, right where I don’t want to be. If it weren’t for employment insurance, I’d be dead meat in terms of income. Gas is also very pricey right now, so I hate driving because of it.

I’m beginning to wonder if this isn’t the path I’m supposed to take though. Every attempt I’ve made to try and move into town has been foiled, as if it weren’t meant to be.

Independance isn’t something I want to give up on though; what I’m saying is that maybe I’m meant to be elsewhere, and not the town I grew up near, maybe there’s something better to work towards, but I don’t know what the answer is; and that’s what’s scaring me.

I just don’t know if I have what it takes to leave home, and move away. Pack up whatever belongings I have, and just drive away into the unknown hoping something will happen, it doesn’t seem safe. But maybe thats what I have to do? I don’t know.