Hating myself and fearing the future, but I'm still kicking!
My name is Montana, I'm 17 years old. I know it's technically a girls name, but I'm male. I've been dealing with some very unusual issues for a while now, and it seems impossible to find someone who understands. I guess to be general about it, it's mild depression, loneliness, self-esteem, the whole world being against me, and LGBTQ type stuff. I hope to meet some people here that at least pretend to understand. I often don't take my issues seriously, but I also take them so seriously that I hate myself. I'm just confusing all around haha. Well, I hope this is a good enough introduction, see you around!
@JohnDoe39463 I had experienced the similar situation with you before and i felt the same depressing feelings with drives me crazy. But what i learned is that the people around you would not always be what you expect them to be. Sometimes they are even opposite with what you want. And at this time, being lonely is the only choice and it's not contemptible to avoid talking with others since they disappoint you already. The basis of growth is getting used to the indifference towards you and being kind of unconscious about it, it sounds bleak but as i said, you need to get used to it. Don't let others' judgement disturb or confuse you, you need to gain the independence unless you will never feel comfortable about your life. As long as you get used to this, others' sentence will be meaningless to you and you can deal with some bad things more independently and calmly. You will redeem the feeling of everything is under control and you can be yourself again. Keep your values, there is nothing wrong in this world, and there isn't anything correct, it's time-consuming and meaningless to struggle with what is correct what isn't. Straight your neck, walk your own way, enjoy the noise.
@JohnDoe39463 Hi Montana! Trust me I feel you, I have a weird name that no one actually knows how to pronounce, and that was one of the most obvious when I first move to America. Now I don't feel the same way anymore, I feel like this name made me special. It's ok for being "weird", I mean deep inside all of us, every one of us is just bones and blood and organs(), and there is honestly nothing that's different. So it's fine if it ever feels like it's weird, we are all a little or kind of weird in our own way. About LGBTQ+ questions, I feel like having anxiety about coming out or talking it through with others was almost a common thing already, but I'm not saying that's correct! I myself is a bisexual, and I don't really know how to talk to my parents about it, but I feel like maybe one day I will, not like asking their opinions or anythings, just to tell them something about me. It doesn't really matter if you like boys or girls or other genders, its ok if you don't love anyone. Don't feel down! You matter, and at least I supports u!
