Hello, looking for a kink friendly person to talk to

I live in a very old fashioned country so I would probably end up meeting all the therapists in the area, an empty bank account and still no help... and I don't think I can get help without disclosing this info since I am struggling connecting to people. I can make friendly acquaintances just fine but I can't make friends, I feel my relationship is also disconnected and my boyfriend is not helping (BDSM, poly).

I feel alone, isolated even, I only feel better when I am talking to someone either in person or on the phone. I can't seem to be comfortable in my own company anymore.