Hi

Hi, I'm Chris, I'm 37 years old. I had a terrible break-up 2 months ago. I was in a long distance relationship for almost 2 years. We met regulary, but I wasn't able to go live with her yet (my financial, and her home situation ) But we felt a deep love for each other. It might sound lame, but we were soulmates. Our love was intense, and we went through a lot together.

The endless waiting was too much for her, and she couldn't take the loneliness anymore. Often she said she has borderline personality disorder and also, she was in an abusive relationship before. You could say she was struggling with her own demons. She needed lots of support and constant presence. I was not able to give that presence, and I feel I failed her.

So she broke up with me, but given the fact that our love was so deep, we stayed in touch. Trying to be friends. We were both suffering, but we offered support to each other. She had a quick rebound relation in the second week after our break-up. But the guy disappeared after a couple of days and left her heartbroken again. So I tried to put my hurted ego aside and offered her my support (over the phone.) It helped for her, but it made me suffer more.

She met someone new a few weeks ago, someone amazing. She seems much better now. I am happy for her. I really am.

Today we decided to say goodbye for a while. No contact anymore. Because we're still not over each other.

She wants to focus on her new relationship and I need to focus on myself. On getting better. I have been crying every day for a month now. I feel an emptiness, I miss feeling loved. It's a big hole in my soul.

I have friends and family, and they support me. But I don't want to bother them, because they have their own lives.

I'm not bitter or anything. I really wish her the best, and I do hope we can be friend again some day. Because she's a good person, and I only feel grateful for all our beautiful moments together.