How do I forgive?
I am currently struggling with forgiving the people in my life who have wronged me. From stealing money to domestic abuse to just plain betrayal. You know the saying 'those you love hurt you the most'? Well, it's true. Only I HAVE to let go of this anger and resentment or else it'll destroy me. Just wanted to know if anyone had any tips on forgiveness.
@KnowNoLove Hi there <3 Forgiveness can be a difficult process, especially when you've been wronged in significant ways. It's important to remember that forgiveness is a personal choice, and you don't have to forgive anyone until you're ready. One thing that can help in the more minor situations is to try and understand the other person's perspective any why they might have acted the way they did. This does NOT excuse their behavior, but it can help you find empathy and compassion, which can make forgiveness easier. It can also be helpful to talk to a counsellor (if you wish) who can help you work through your feelings and develop a plan for moving forward ❤️
Working through feelings of anger, hurtfulness and betrayal can be a long process, but there are some things you can do/try to help yourself heal.
- You could try to identify and understand your emotions rather than pushing them away (or denying them).
- Journalling your thoughts and feelings to "get them out of your head".
- Practice self-care, like getting enough sleep, eating well, exercising, and spending time doing things you enjoy.
Just remember that healing is a process and it's okay to take things one day at a time.
I'm probably not the best person to answer this since I hold grudges and I'm not even aware of it half the time.
But if you think about the issue and it makes you angry or feel like you're back in that place again, that means you haven't gotten over it. And sometimes you never do.
There are some things that you do not have to forgive and anyone who tells you otherwise have no idea what they're talking about. They're only saying you have to because it's culturally expected to forgive even the most heinous crimes in order to seem like a "good" victim. This is especially true in Christian circles where you're expected to forgive otherwise you're committing a sin. In reality, it's abusers wanting to control the narrative and getting off the hook. Unless they start making actual changes, you should not have to forgive them. And heck you don't have to forgive them even if they do change for the better.
People like to think trauma and recovery is linear, but its not. Especially in your case like domestic abuse, that's not something any reasonable person should expect you to forgive. You'll have days where it won't affect you and it'll be fine. Other days something will trigger you and you're angry/sad/depressed/etc all over again.
So, keep note of your triggers, how to avoid them and distract yourself with hobbies or excercise, especially days that get really bad.
@KnowNoLove You have the choice to forgive or remember. What you love the most hurts you the most. I have a deep understanding. I think you can try to have a little bit fewer expectations of others and focus on your own heart. Be the one who always loves yourself.
@KnowNoLove
Sorry that I don’t think i have a tip, cause i need one too :( For me, I can’t even forgive people that are not close to me and not who i love, so I’m kinda struggling with this too. I hope you will soon be better and have a nice day : ) ; )
