Isolated and alone abroad

@FallenInFrance

@FallenInFrance hey there friend. I know that living in foreign territory can be really intimidating and overwhelming. I lived in the netherlands for six months and didn't know a single soul. It was really hard for me too. especially that first month, it was shocking like diving into a cold pool.

France is a neat country with rich history and beautiful architecture. It's a great palce to be but when you arent feeling yourself its hard to switch your focus to your surroundings when youre so stuck on yourself. I too struggled and there were times where I too thought I made a big mistake. Instead I made the consicous effort to try and drop my mindset for a few hours everyday. I woud force myself to go out and ride my bike and grab a sandwich ya know just live there, be there. I used my time to do a lot of self-discovery and exploration. it was a huge step outside my comfort zone. but in the end it was okay and worked out in my favor and thats what i want for you.

I think its awesome that youre making an effort to go on dates! It helps to meet people who know the area well and can teach you things about your new environemnt. at the same time, its very hard not having any familiar faces especially if youre feeling down and all you want is the comfort of your friends and family. This can be a really awesome learning experience for you. Take this time to learn yourself really well. be in a relationship with yourself! if you arent happy with who you are you arent able to enjoy the things around you regardless of how grand they may be. You don't want to look back and think you shouldve, couldve, wouldve... instead my advice to you and go buy a notebook. write down all your thoughts everyday. it doesnt have to be a long journal entry, but try at least once a day to get your thoughts on paper. you can write about anyting. but that helped me a lot.

for example i struggle with anxiety and body issues and though sometimes theyre irrational, theyre out of my control. the exercise i made for myself was i would release my dark thoughts on a sheet of paper then i would counter them with something positive and something that i could do to either change my thoughts or change me. (sometimes i got self conscious about me riding my bike, so by countering the "people are gonna stare at me, theyre gonna think this, theyre gonna think that", I would put on a stylish outfit. that way if/ when people did look at me I was at least wearing a cool outfit and they might say "she has great taste" instead of "she looks ridiculous" ... which by the way, no on thought i was ridiculous) i made sure to keep enjoying myslf because i knew that my time there would soon end. dont let you distract yourself from the amazing place youre in and the amazing experiences you will have. chin up!

@FallenInFrance. Hi i feel your pain. I can feel that way even when Im home but away from family and friends and sometimes just at the grocery store. Its a feeling thats hard to shake and feeling like youre disappointing yourself doesnt help. How long have you been there? Give yourself as much time there as you can. Maybe you will line up with someone who you feel a connection with. Try to draw yourself into the moment and focus on something that is uplifting. Anything that feels good tastes good sounds good. Think about reasons you went there. Stay in the moment and give yourself credit for making it happen. You dont have to stay. You have the freedom to leave. Most of all dont worry about others would say. Mostly love yourself.

Hi @falleninfrance,

i am starting to relocate myself. Don't lose hope. It usually takes a while to get your feet planted. In the meantime, I found this. Hopefully it helps:

https://www.bustle.com/articles/92510-10-ways-to-combat-loneliness-in-a-new-city-and-even-embrace-it